OK, let me admit this right off the bat. I am not really a big sports fan. Don't get me wrong... I love athletics and I keep myself in tip top shape. But quite honestly, I don't give a shit who wins the Monday night football game or who is in the baseball playoffs. And don't ask me about any players or stats because I won't know what you're talking about. I just don't have the time that it takes to watch all of the games, read the sports section, watch the news and all the other stuff guys need to do to stay on top of all of that stuff.

So let me tell you what happened this morning to me and has happened so many times I can't even count. I was at my favorite breakfast place in Delray Beach, Florida. It's called The Green Owl. It's mostly a local's place. I hate all of the touristy breakfast places... that's why the counter at The Green Owl is where you'll normally find me eating and trying to get work done.

I guess since it's a local's place, people figure that I'm there to chat. So I'm sitting at the counter by myself with my notebook and laptop. It's pretty obvious I'm there to do work and not to socialize.

A few minutes into my breakfast a guy in his 50's comes in and sits next to me. Fair enough... it is a public place.

He tries to exchange some niceties with the wait staff about sports but they are very busy and they give him short responses. I guess he doesn't like that. This guy wants to talk sports very badly and I had a feeling he was eyeing me up. So I tried my best to look real busy. It didn't work.

Next thing I know, he turns towards me and asks "So who is your favorite football team?"

I didn't know what to say. I just wanted to ignore him but I'm so damn nice, I couldn't do it. So I thought for a millisecond and then responded "College or Pro?" Wow, that could have been a big mistake. Why in the hell did I say that?

Man: "Well, let's start with college."

Oh shoot, what did I get myself into? Without thinking again, I responded with...

Dave: "Hmmmm... there are so many good teams out there, it's very hard for me to pick a favorite."

Man: "I'm an Ohio State fan myself, and I love Troy Smith. Did you catch that game last week? Guy threw for 186 yards and four touchdown passes… Simply amazing…"

Dave: "Of course I saw it. That was a great game. Troy did very well!" (I had absolutely no idea who Troy Smith was!)

Man: "What did you think of that catch Brian made?"

Dave: "Unbelievable. I couldn't believe he caught that one!"

Man: "Heisman material, man.. Heisman material… Who do you think their biggest contender is at this point in the season?"

Dave: "Wow, that's a great question. I hate to answer it quickly so let me think about that one today."

Man: "I heard that! Yeah, I love college ball… Much better than the NFL!"

Dave: "Absolutely! I don't think anything in the world can beat watching a college game. I'm with you all the way on that one!"

Man: "Who is your favorite pro team?"

Dave: "Well, I like the Ravens because I am from Baltimore."

Man: "Hey, they're lookin' good this year. Billick finally did something about your quarterback… Air McNair, man.. How did Jamal do last week?"

Dave: "I'm pretty sure he did fine."

Man: "What do you think happened to Oakland? Used to have a good team? That 18-point collapse is big…"

Dave: "Well, everything goes in cycles. I bet they'll come back strong someday soon."

Man: "Who do you think's going to Miami this Super Bowl?"

Dave: "Too early to tell for me. Give me another few weeks. I'll be able to tell you a lot more then."

Man: "I totally hear you bro."

Dave (grabbing notebook, packing up laptop and paying check): "Hey, great talking to you. I gotta run."

Man: "Good talking to you too. You definitely know your sports! Next time we'll talk some baseball. Almost World Series time! We've got a lot to talk about! When are you coming back?"

Dave: "Oh, I'm here all the time, don't you worry!"

Man: "OK, I'll keep my eyes open for you bro."

This scenario keeps repeating itself. Do I look like a goddamn sports reporter or something? It's getting so hard for me to go out in public these days. I need to wear a shirt or hat that says "Don't Bother Me" or I need to learn another language.