Disclaimer

Have you ever downloaded an app or some software, and before downloading clicked a button that says something like “I have read and accept these terms?” Maybe you have been to a site that has a check box at the end that says “I have read, understand, and acknowledge these terms and conditions.”

So we check the box or click the tab, never having read the actual terms and conditions. NEVER!

As the great Mark Twain once said, “There are two types of people in the world – those who don’t read the terms and conditions, and liars.”

Wait a minute! Mark Twain died in 1910! How is that possible?

And how about those long disclaimers at the end of an email? Ever read one of those suckers? No one has! Yet by reading the good part of the email we are supposed to abide by all of that crap at the end.

But imagine this. What if right before you clicked that “accept these terms and conditions” button an actual person popped up on your monitor and said,

“Hey Pat! Thanks for downloading our software. I just want to let you know that as soon as you do:

  • We will allow your email address to be used by our sister companies. We have a lot of sisters.
  • Your computer will be infiltrated with cookies that will track your every move.
  • For the next three months every corner of your computer will be filled with ads for products similar to the expanding double-edge vibrator you just read about.
  • Every keystroke you make from now on will be analyzed, deconstructed, interpreted and utilized by our team of overpaid Silicon Valley geeks who haven’t seen the sun in two years.

Thanks for your business.”

Would you still click and accept? Maybe not so quickly.

So what do you think happens when you give a patient a two page financial policy to read? Or a long document detailing the risks of third molar surgery? Same with written post-op instructions. People skim them at best (especially if they are as poorly written as most of the ones we have seen) and then they sign them anyway.

Bottom line: If there is Something/Anything (TR) the patient needs to know, it should be explained in simple language by a real person. Sure, it may take a little longer, but it not only adds to the personal patient experience, it helps clear up problems before they happen.

Explain. Listen. Answer. Care. Some things just can’t be accomplished with written documents.

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: This blog post is intended for the use of the individual addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is confidential, privileged, confidentially privileged, or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, please get off your friend’s computer immediately. Any dissemination, emanation, artificial insemination, or copying of this blog post is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) unless you forward it to someone who may have some peculiar interest in The Madow Brothers. No animals were harmed during the transmission of this blog post, but if that damn cock-a-poo dog next door doesn’t stop barking soon, some harm may come to it, if you know what we mean. (Maybe having to go through life being called a “cock-a-poo” is actually torture enough.)

Please do not read this blog post backwards or hcti ot trats lliw rae tfel ruoy. (Scratched it, didn’t you?) If you did not receive this blog and are not currently reading it, please stop immediately. Never take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. Thank you.

 The Madow Brothers love you! Yes – you!!

Professor

In this blog we would like to share a story with you.  It’s been around in one form or another for quite some time now.  But today (for better or for worse) you will get “The Madow Brothers ramped up version.”

By the way, even if you have heard this one before, we urge you to read the entire thing. It’s definitely a lesson to live by!

Here it goes…

A college professor was becoming increasingly frustrated with his students not being able to focus. So he decided that he would teach his very large class a life lesson.

One morning he walks into class with a huge mayonnaise jar in his hands. This was not the ordinary mayonnaise jar you see in the grocery store. This was a huge commercial sized jar!

He could already overhear several of the students murmuring “WTF” or similar words under their breath!

As class was getting started he asked all of the students to please pay close attention to what he was about to do.

The professor reached behind his lectern and pulled out a big bag of brand new white golf balls. He proceeded to fill up the large mayonnaise jar with the golf balls.

Each time it appeared as though the jar was full, he would shake the balls down, tap the jar on the lectern and do everything possible to free up space for at least one more ball.

The students watched curiously.

When he repeated that exercise several times, it was soon apparent that no more balls were going to fit in.

He looked at the class and asked them to raise their hands if they felt the jar was totally full.

Practically every hand went up.

He looked at the class with a somewhat serious face.

Next he pulled out a large bag of landscaping pebbles and began to pour them into the jar. Every few seconds he would shake the jar so the newly added pebbles would make their way in and settle in around the golf balls.

When it was apparent that no more pebbles would fit into the jar, he said “Please raise your hand if you now believe the jar is totally full.”

Again, practically all hands went up.

He stared at the class again without breaking a smile.

Then out comes a bag of sand. The professor repeated the previous drill, but this time pouring as much sand as possible into the jar, in and around the pebbles and the golf balls.  He kept shaking and tapping to ensure he was able to get every bit of sand possible into the jar.

“Now, who is totally convinced that this jar is full?”

All hands went up.

He then looked at the class with a slight smile.

The professor’s assistant, who apparently was sitting quietly in the back of the class, walks to the front of the room. She is holding a tray covered with a white napkin holding four large glasses, each of which appears to be filled with liquid.

The professor takes the first glass into his hands. The students could see the liquid was dark colored.

“This is hot coffee. Black. I am going to carefully pour all of it into the jar.”

The students watched.

The professor then proceeded to pick up the second glass.

“This is iced tea. Fresh brewed and unsweetened! I will pour it into the jar.”

The students were silent.

He picked up the third glass.

“It’s wine. A very fine Pinot Noir. Here it goes into the jar.”

And all of it went.

The forth and final glass was picked up off of the tray.

“It’s a Budweiser,” he said.

And into the jar it went. As the final drops went in, there was just a tiny bit of foam overflow onto the floor.

The students were watching, half laughing and half in disbelief. The professor didn’t even need to ask the question again because everyone knew what the answer would be.

As the room quieted down, the professor began to speak.

“Now it’s definitely 100% full, right?”

Everyone nodded their heads.

“Please listen carefully.”

“I want you to imagine that this mayonnaise jar represents your life. Think of the golf balls as the absolute most important things. I mean your family, your friends, your health, your spirituality… and the things you absolutely love to do.  The things you passionately live for. If everything else in your life was lost and these balls still remained, your life would be totally full.”

The class was silent.

“The pebbles are the other ‘things,’ such as your house, your car, your jewelry… you get it… the material things.”

“And the sand is everything else.”

“By the way, your job could be the golf balls, the pebbles or the sand… depending on how passionate you are about it and how much you love it. I love what I do every single day. I mold young lives, so I look at my work as the golf balls! I hope you will be able to say the same when you get older.”

“Now imagine if you had this jar and you put the sand or the pebbles in first. You can clearly see there would be absolutely no room for the super important stuff – the golf balls. The same is true for your life. If you pay attention mainly to the small stuff, there will never be room for the stuff that TRULY matters to you.”

“Don’t take your loved ones for granted. Spend time with your family. Call your friends. Visit with your parents. And grandparents.  If you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, make sure you are spending good quality time with them as well. Turn off your devices — give them all of your attention.”

There was still silence in the room.

After about twenty long seconds, a student raised his hand.

“What about the liquids you poured into the jar? The coffee. The tea.  The beer and wine. Why did you mix them? What do they represent?”

“I’m glad you asked, responded the professor.”

“Here is why I poured the liquids into the jar.  Because no matter how full your life seems, there is ALWAYS time to have a drink with a friend. But please remember students, if you are not yet 21, please stick with the coffee or the tea!”